12 December 2009

The sickness that is adoption

I am over adoption. Completely over it, I just wish it wasn't part of my life!

Lately I have seen more and more PAP's and adopters who love the sickly sweetness of the lie adoption is about. They love to think they are the saints and saviours rescuing a child who DOESN'T need rescuing and if they see anyone who doesn't agree with their point of view they will attack at full velocity. Maturity in these people appears to be at an all time low as does logic and basic intelligence.

I am sick of being nice, of trying to be understanding.

Adoption is hateful, poisonous, sick, evil and cruel. I have NEVER and I mean NEVER seen a positive come out of it. Not ONE single positive thing. All I have seen is toxicity, nastiness, anguish, pain, injustice, discrimination, abuse and the list goes on so wearingly long. And I am not even speaking of my own situation by the many, many cases I have read about via blogs, heard about directly from those involved or received via email.

I do quickly want to say I have met a couple of adoptive parents who I DO NOT place into the same category as most as they have made the choice to open their minds and eyes and try to see the perspective from another's point of view. And those two people I am grateful for.... one is a regular here on my blog and she has helped me see things on issues in a different light as well.

But besides these two fabulous women, I have met scores of women who devastate me by their mere existence, their level of selfishness and toxicity is so very devastating. They care so little about anyone else they box anyone who disagrees with adoption and place labels on their boxes such as bitter and angry. I think they forgot to take a good look in the mirror at themselves. Maybe they will find the two little lumps on their head are actually emerging horns... or snakes as in Medusa. These women really repulse me. Anyone who feels so entitled to the child of another woman is diseased in the mind. They have chosen to place all good virtues out of their lives and persued what they want at the expense of the child they adopt and the mother who is left out in the cold. They believe God chooses adoption for them... wow, they are so "Christian" they forgot to read their Bibles lately and instead fall for the crap "churches" sprout about adoption.

Adopting is about as far removed as being Christ-like I can imagine. I doubt He would advocate taking in another woman's baby because the mother lacked the resources to care for HER child. In fact, to be truly Christ like, would mean that the desire to parent would be given up in the desire to help someone i.e. work with others to help families stay together. Being Christ-like certainly doesn't mean ripping families apart through adoption and lying about keeping an adoption open which soooo many "Christians" do. I have met many people who have turned away from Faith, God and the church as a result of adoption so yeah, I can't imagine God is sitting up there commending the churches. I always thought churches were supposed to minister and bring people in? Gees, they are sure doing a great job of the opposite!

In my life, I have had many issues to work through including the consequences of poor choices I made. But nothing in my life has been as ugly as adoption. Nothing has ever opened my eyes to this world so sharply and made me so lack the desire to live in such an evil, twisted world. It is bad enough with all the other evils we already face but at least those other evils like child abuse, war, terrorism, child/human trafficking, rape, murder, robbery etc are recognised as such and don't hide behind a thin veil of "happy, happy, joy, joy".

Right now I am not in a gracious mood. I am grieving, I am suffering so if you chose to comment anything that appears to be judgemental or in any way a form of an attack, I will not respond kindly. I am warning you now so if I say something out of character you are forewarned. That doesn't mean you can't comment, just watch the wording as certain things can be perceived as personal attacks.

To choose adoption after knowing its devastating consequences, to me, is a choice to cause pain in others lives. In anything if we choose to cause pain we are guilty of a crime against humanity and are therefore advocating the abuses of human rights. Don't want to be seen as doing this? Don't adopt and find another way to be involved in a child's life that doesn't involve ripping a family apart.

Edited to add: I am removing the link to another blog due to the fact the other person has been quite hurt. Whilst I still disagree with their viewpoint, I do not want to hurt anyone. Adoption does enough damage without adding to it. Again, more proof as to how sad and destructive it really is.