12 December 2009

The sickness that is adoption

I am over adoption. Completely over it, I just wish it wasn't part of my life!

Lately I have seen more and more PAP's and adopters who love the sickly sweetness of the lie adoption is about. They love to think they are the saints and saviours rescuing a child who DOESN'T need rescuing and if they see anyone who doesn't agree with their point of view they will attack at full velocity. Maturity in these people appears to be at an all time low as does logic and basic intelligence.

I am sick of being nice, of trying to be understanding.

Adoption is hateful, poisonous, sick, evil and cruel. I have NEVER and I mean NEVER seen a positive come out of it. Not ONE single positive thing. All I have seen is toxicity, nastiness, anguish, pain, injustice, discrimination, abuse and the list goes on so wearingly long. And I am not even speaking of my own situation by the many, many cases I have read about via blogs, heard about directly from those involved or received via email.

I do quickly want to say I have met a couple of adoptive parents who I DO NOT place into the same category as most as they have made the choice to open their minds and eyes and try to see the perspective from another's point of view. And those two people I am grateful for.... one is a regular here on my blog and she has helped me see things on issues in a different light as well.

But besides these two fabulous women, I have met scores of women who devastate me by their mere existence, their level of selfishness and toxicity is so very devastating. They care so little about anyone else they box anyone who disagrees with adoption and place labels on their boxes such as bitter and angry. I think they forgot to take a good look in the mirror at themselves. Maybe they will find the two little lumps on their head are actually emerging horns... or snakes as in Medusa. These women really repulse me. Anyone who feels so entitled to the child of another woman is diseased in the mind. They have chosen to place all good virtues out of their lives and persued what they want at the expense of the child they adopt and the mother who is left out in the cold. They believe God chooses adoption for them... wow, they are so "Christian" they forgot to read their Bibles lately and instead fall for the crap "churches" sprout about adoption.

Adopting is about as far removed as being Christ-like I can imagine. I doubt He would advocate taking in another woman's baby because the mother lacked the resources to care for HER child. In fact, to be truly Christ like, would mean that the desire to parent would be given up in the desire to help someone i.e. work with others to help families stay together. Being Christ-like certainly doesn't mean ripping families apart through adoption and lying about keeping an adoption open which soooo many "Christians" do. I have met many people who have turned away from Faith, God and the church as a result of adoption so yeah, I can't imagine God is sitting up there commending the churches. I always thought churches were supposed to minister and bring people in? Gees, they are sure doing a great job of the opposite!

In my life, I have had many issues to work through including the consequences of poor choices I made. But nothing in my life has been as ugly as adoption. Nothing has ever opened my eyes to this world so sharply and made me so lack the desire to live in such an evil, twisted world. It is bad enough with all the other evils we already face but at least those other evils like child abuse, war, terrorism, child/human trafficking, rape, murder, robbery etc are recognised as such and don't hide behind a thin veil of "happy, happy, joy, joy".

Right now I am not in a gracious mood. I am grieving, I am suffering so if you chose to comment anything that appears to be judgemental or in any way a form of an attack, I will not respond kindly. I am warning you now so if I say something out of character you are forewarned. That doesn't mean you can't comment, just watch the wording as certain things can be perceived as personal attacks.

To choose adoption after knowing its devastating consequences, to me, is a choice to cause pain in others lives. In anything if we choose to cause pain we are guilty of a crime against humanity and are therefore advocating the abuses of human rights. Don't want to be seen as doing this? Don't adopt and find another way to be involved in a child's life that doesn't involve ripping a family apart.

Edited to add: I am removing the link to another blog due to the fact the other person has been quite hurt. Whilst I still disagree with their viewpoint, I do not want to hurt anyone. Adoption does enough damage without adding to it. Again, more proof as to how sad and destructive it really is.

36 comments:

  1. Myst,

    All I got is..."Amen sister"

    Love and hugs,
    Denise

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  2. There is something good that comes out of adoption. One gets two sets of amazing parents... I hope you feel better!

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  3. Thank you Denise! As you can see I am just as fed up as one can be. I just wish I could remove it from my life but obviously that is impossible now (sigh).

    Hi Amanda and thank you for commenting :)

    I really feel we don't need two sets of parents... we only need one and I can say one is quite enough! Its bad enough when you get married and have to deal with having in-laws let alone having two thanks to adoption.

    Nup, I still say there is nothing good in adoption. One would have to show me in quite some detail to convince me otherwise.

    Thanks though :)

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  4. Stephanie Van Loon13 December 2009 at 02:24

    If this does not hit the nail on the head about what adoption is TRULY about, I don't know what does. Wonderful post. Thank you.

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  5. "One gets two sets of amazing parents... "

    Why does anyone need to have two sets of parents, particular if one set only exists because the other set was not given the chance to parent?

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  6. Reading blogs like that is not good for your mental health Myst. There are some people who just don't get that they are not entitled to someone elses child just because they want one- especially in the US where there are so many private agencies pushing their crap storylines to pregnant women. I really appreciated the post from sustainable families on that blog, I think she hit the nail on the head on so many different points.
    Anyway I don't know that that blogger is really going to change her mind....I wonder though, if her agency is placing so few children in comparison to others, could it be that they are more likely to be acting more ethically than others?? Dunno.
    I have been wondering though whether you saw the article in last week's woman's day about the mother of the ex-conjoined twins in Melb? It's been driving me nuts how the media kept describing these girls as "orphans" when they were so clearly NOT! And then the mother's story is so terrible, she just wanted medical care for her babies. Why, on earth when they were brought to Australia she was not brought with them I don't know. And now what is going to happen??? Are these girls completely healthy? They should be going back to their family in Bangladesh! They have not been here for years and years and been aculturated as Australians. Many children adopted to Australia via intercountry adoption come here at the age of those girls. If they require ongoing intensive medical attention and need to stay in Australia then who is going to set up a trust fund so that they can regularly travel to Bangladesh and know their family?? I was so furious after reading the article that I wrote a letter to the magazine- we'll see if they publish it- but it's just a whole part of the picture of the story of those girls that has been completely ignored except for that article in Woman's Day. Who would have thought that a trashy mag would be the one to bring that family's tragedy to light??
    Dawn

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  7. PS....oh and not are those children separated from their mother but they had their names changed as well. Why???

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  8. I agree Dawn, it isn't good for my mental health... I guess what saddens me is she is only one of at least 5 blogs I have read in the last few days besides the comments I have received via email from prospective adopting couples... I cannot believe other women treat their own sex this way; that their pain is so much more important than any others it is okay to CAUSE pain so they can ease theirs. That sort of logic is crazy.

    No, I didn't read that story... when I saw that it had to do with adoption I left it alone. I have been fairly fragile of late (and yes, it isn't wise to read things when I am already feeling this way, sometimes I am a sucker for more "punishment"). So many stories are like hers and her daughters' and I just can't bear all the anguish; its just awful to see in black and white. I am with you, from the little I heard of the story, I wondered why the mother was not brought out too. There is so much pain in this world... its heartbreaking to see it. I don't get why their names needed to be changed either... maybe the adoption was so they would be eligible for the medical care in Aust? I know of one family in NZ where the daughters were adopted by some friends of my parents so the girls (who were 15 and 17 I think, just before it was the legal cut off) could have NZ citizenship. I guess this kind of adoption is different. They ar enot being abandoned as the girls agreed to it, their parents are pretty much their parents still except in name/legal paperwork but they still behave like a family. Strange story but it is something like that.

    Thank you Dawn, again :)

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  9. Thank you Stephanie :) I have to say I was a little apprehensive posting it as I am not into just lashing out but my point is, in no other way I have encountered such extreme emotions, vile language and venom spitting as I have encountered in adoption. To me, that says alot for the whole institution. If it was as wholesome and loving as it is made out to be, why the nastiness, controversy and pain that follows it? That alone speaks volumes. It is a gut instinct that makes many of us react so violently against it... especially the forced, unnecessary adoptions that appear to be occurring more and more often. It is a sick institution.

    Myst

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  10. Damn, the message I wrote disappeared into the ether, I'll be brief...those twins have not been adopted. I had a look at the website of the organisation that brought them out here and they do good stuff. I reckon that there is every chance that they will be persuaded to return the children to their family if it is possible in terms of their health (or at the very least work out a way of maintaining regular contact- apparently they are organising for their mother to come and visit). Don't read the article if it's too hard- but maybe this is a case where people will hear what you have to say about what forced separations can do to mothers- which might be a good thing for you. I'm going to write them.
    Dawn

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  11. Stephanie Van Loon15 December 2009 at 06:31

    You are quite welcome, Myst. I sincerely appreicate this blog and the truth you so eloquently state here.

    I especially relate to what you say in regards to christians and christanity and adopting, while needlessly separating mothers from their children.

    Here are a couple quotes that I have been personally touched by:

    "I was ANGRY. Angry at all of my friends who were able to get pregnant and angry at all women who were able to get pregnant and do not realize how blessed they were for being able to have children, when I could not. What did I do to deserve this punishment? Eventually, though, the LORD softened my heart and led me into the direction of adoption."

    Now me decipher that for you and tell you the TRUTH of that statement. The LORD softened her heart just long enough to con a mother out of her child with the promises of an open adoption, but just a few short years later her heart went right back to being hardened and cold when she renegged on her open adoption agreement, with the MOTHER who was now at the recieving end of her anger.

    That's right. She never stopped being angry and some vulnerable, trusting young woman was going to pay dearly for that. These people go on and on about what good "christians" they are when in reality their actions towards the mother who suffered such a tremendous loss and ambiguous grief are nothing short of dispicable.

    AMEN.

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  12. Oh Stephanie... I just hate the way they use God to justify theri choices. It had nothing to do with Him anyway, its called FREE WILL. So in other words, she decided to put that anger to work and make one of those pregnant women she hated so much PAY for being pregnant. You know, again, this is just another way adoption sickens me. The fact people can ACCEPT and see this as okay... its staggering and vile.

    Maing money out of another person's pain is, in my opinion, one of the sickest and cruelest things a human can do. The people who run these agencies are wolves in sheep's clothing; evil to the core. To market aggressively for a mother's baby so they can fill their quota's and for adoptive parents to be OKAY with this (well, most, not all AP's) is unbelievable. Ugh... there are really no words in this language to fit how ugly adoption is.

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  13. Stephanie Van Loon17 December 2009 at 03:04

    "She decided to put that anger to work and make one of those pregant woman he hated so much PAY for being pregnant."

    That is it...that is absolutely what she did and what follows is the most SICKENING of all... Angry adoptress then proceeds to brainwash the child she conned out of said mother by instilling in him that "God put you where you needed to me" and "God chose you for us".

    I guess GOD forgot about me though, as I was left out in the cold to fend for myself with PTSD and all the other wonderful post adoption hell that followed, huh.

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  14. I find your blog to be extremely disturbing. Wow. So much hate and bitterness.

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  15. Dear Anon... the "anger and bitterness" label you use is for you. So you can feel better about yourself, what you do in your life and how you conduct yourself. There are so many people out there who like to wander around in their little bubbles of make believe and pat themselves on the back. I like to pop those bubbles and so I get labelled. I am okay with that. Because I know I am telling the truth and its not something people want to hear. I will pray for you that you will learn to see the truth without blinkers on.

    Have a lovely day and thanks so much for popping by :)

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  16. "I find your blog to be extremely disturbing. Wow. So much hate and bitterness."

    Why is it disturbing?

    Why is wanting a child to remain with its mother so disturbing?

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  17. "Why is wanting a child to remain with its mother so disturbing?"

    Makes you wonder doesn't it? I think the most disturbing thing is that I dare to disagree, speak out and not be told how to think. I have noticed every time I receive a negative comment on my blog, it says the exact same thing.... from different people and not ONE single person yet has offered any valid reason to condemn me or promote adoption. All they can do is attack me personally because what I say distrubs them because it is the truth.

    Most of them have been various adoptive "parents" and have "hit and run" so to speak. Too cowardly to come back and discover more.

    I am happy they find my blog disturbing; maybe it will make them squirm a bit.... it only takes a few to start the seed of doubt. And if that is all I accomplish at least it is still something.

    Myst

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  18. Dear Myst,
    Your pain is so very real and validated. I hate that you and so many other mothers have been wounded and robbed. Truly.
    As an adoptive mother who truly did feel called to adopt (NEVER EVER considered it or wanted more children than the 2 I had), you and Cassie have opened my eyes to a new perspective. I can totally understand why it would repulse you to think of people using God as an "excuse" to do something they wanted to do. All I can say is that for us, it was not a desire...it began as a calling.
    Our adoption was international and of a child with special needs...again...not our idea...a very distinct impression that it was the way for us to go. Our lives have been turned upside down since we made that decision. I love our son deeply and he is a blessing but there has also been much pain already and he is only four. He has already asked about his China Mommy and my heart breaks as I have no answers for him...only guesses. No way to find her...no way to right the wrong.
    There truly are orphans in need of families because theirs have died, or are dying. Many have been abandoned due to medical needs. That sucks. And again I say that if we could have known our little guy's parents, we would have rather helped them get him medical care than adopt him. We didn't have the money to even adopt him...but it came in...bit by bit as we needed it.
    Some people say that Adoption isn't plan B...it is plan A...but I don't believe that. God's plan has always been for a child to be with his/her Mom and Dad. But the world is broken. You are right Myst.
    If so many of us would pool our resources together to help parents KEEP their babies...there would be MUCH less adoptions taking place and more children where they belong. And yet there would still be need for some adoptions...just because the world is broken. Parents die. Sometimes they are abusive, sick, whatever.
    For so many though, like you, women are simply lied to, pressured and co-erced. For the sake of filling someone else's empty arms. That is wrong.
    And I am so very broken about that.

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  19. Thank you Holly. Thank you for being open and brave enough, like Dawn, to see from someone else's perspective. I know there are adoptive parents, like yourself, who really love the children they adopt. And adopt for the child's sake.

    As I said in my post, I do not place all adoptive parents in the category I wrote about above because I know not all adoptive parents are like this. But, sadly too many are and it does repulse me to find people who are like that; ready to prosper at someone else's gain and ready to sacrifice a mother for their own desires.

    Thank you again Holly.

    Myst :)

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  20. "And again I say that if we could have known our little guy's parents, we would have rather helped them get him medical care than adopt him."

    I don't know about that.

    There are probably prospective parents who are out there whom have been connected with adoption agency and received the message "Baby Girl xx is about to die because she was born prematurely. Her parents cannot afford it. If you can pay her bill, you can adopt her."

    I would think that the desire to become a parent would overwhelmingly override any moral need in the direct situation when you receive pictures of the baby - when you go online to buy plane tickets to take that trip - when you see her name on the adoption files and how the situation has been labeled with legal abandonment.

    Would you really be able to look past your own desire to be a parent, pay the bill, and hand the infant back?

    I suppose you don't really know the answer to that, because you've never faced it.

    I have my doubts about who could honestly do that, because if that time would ever come for ANY prospective parent... it's one woman's desire to parent versus another.

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  21. Dear ExiledSister,
    Well, for me, I can say yes. Without blinking an eye. Because I am a mother. I have birthed children. It breaks my HEART that mothers and children are separated..for whatever reason.
    I once watched a video of waiting girls available for adoption- older- WITH their mother who had already surrendered their two younger siblings(lost them to adoption) and she was being interviewed about placing her older children for adoption. Reason? She was sick and poor and in Africa, well nobody cares.
    You know what? I was livid and sick. This Christian agency was offering to take away her kids and put them in some rich family in the States but did it ever occur to them to help her KEEP her children? I watched her wring her hands in grief and her girls clutching her arms and it was really almost more than I could bear to watch. I couldn't use that agency...Christian label or not.
    Not everything is as it seems. On many levels.
    I cannot change the laws in my adopted son's birth country that says parents are ONLY allowed to have ONE child. I cannot change the cultural preference for a boy and a HEALTHY boy at that. My son was not healthy, not deemed normal...doesn't mean it didn't rip his Mom's heart out to leave him to be found and raised by someone else.
    If I could go back to that moment in time...WAY before I EVER knew we would add to our family through adoption. I would. But it might not matter...because I can't change the laws there. I have no idea if he was her first or her second or why she really left him.
    But I know the pain it causes my son sometimes and he is only 4! We have always been honest with him about his story...his life..and his other mother...even though we do not have a picture or even a name...she exists. His life did not begin at age 2 with us. We recognize that. But I get your point. The desire sure plays a big part in the adoption industry...at least the adoption of healthy newborn babies anyway.There really are children stacked up in orphanges around the world crying. Their mothers dead or in hiding or trying to hide their broken hearts. But the children still need families. And medical attention. And arms to hold them.
    My arms will NEVER replace hers.
    But my arms are better than no arms.
    I hope you can understand my perspective.

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  22. Well, without revealing my personal background, all I have to say is that your comment is very interesting.

    As for the so-called Christian agencies, I want to punch them in the face.

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  23. Holly, despite how I feel about adoption, I want you to know I am actually happy your son ended up with you. Someone who gets it, someone who cares. Its not often that I would ever say that but every situation is different and you really are open and willing to see things open mindedly (is that even a word?).

    You CAN'T change the rules about his birth country, that is true and very sad and that means if they have nowhere to go, they sadly, do need to end up somehwere where they will be loved and cared for. And that means at times in countries far away. It is awful but as people these children deserve a chance at life, stability and a family. It is part of their natural right to life. Its just sad his birth country didn't recognise this and violated his rights by his mere existence.

    His mother never had a choice, as a choice is something you get to have input in without extenuating factors like the laws of the land. I think that is why I get so angry about it as I know what it feels like to feel so powerless, so helpless with no real choices.

    Sadly, many people use these situations to benefit for themselves and in some ways that has fuelled a demand over in these countries. Not long ago here on Aust television my husband and I watched a very recent documentary from China about children who have been abducted; some kept in the country, many sold abroad for adoption. In many cases, this was the only child their parents ever had and watching them hunt for their children - boys and girls - was heartbreaking to say the least. This is an area adoption has corrupted and another reason I am against Intercountry adoption in most cases. There is a catch 22 as I know there are genuine orphans but in those same orphanages are children who have been abducted and sold for adoption. Its very sad.

    Anyway, you have your son now and the best thing you can do is love him as you already do and do the best for him, again, which I am sure you will do.

    Life is full of sorrow and challenges and sometimes the only thing we can do is the best with what it throws at us.

    Myst

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  24. I would love for you to read this when you have time.
    http://tell-her-this.blogspot.com/2009/12/honesty-is-hardly-ever-heard.html
    Just so you know...all adoptive parents are not alike.
    I love Kris. She is an amazing woman. And she is a first time mother and you know what? She gets it? She gets that she can never replace the parents that her daughter lost. And she's decided to love her and be the second best and be happy for that blessing while mourning her daughter's loss.
    Amazing. It is hard knowing I am not my son's first mother...knowing when he calls Mommy he should be looking for another face....when he's been in the hospital that it should have been other arms holding him.
    Tough. All the way around.
    And yet...for the children who wait...with no one to call Mommy or Daddy...ESPECIALLY those with medical handicaps- a second chance at a family is better than orphanage life.
    But still...there is much pain and loss and to be able to admit that, face it and still embrace the joys...well that takes serious heart!
    I hope this will encourage you a bit just to know there are all kinds of parents out there.
    Thanks again for sharing your heart so openly.
    Merry Christmas.

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  25. Myst~

    Just stopping by to share the love and to say Bravo! I hope that one day I can write as eloquently as you and exiledsister on your blogs.

    I agree that there are certain AP's and PAP's who do "get it"..and to them, I applaud their efforts. But for the others, I'd like to tell them to get their heads out of the sand and realize that they are actually harming the children they covet instead of helping.

    In peace,
    ElenaKatherine

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  26. Wow..came across your blog tonight..I am the aunt of an adopted 2 yr old boy,we all adore him and are feel blessed to have him in our family. My sister thinks about the bio mom frequently and sends pics and a yearly letter to her..the bio mom does not want any info at this time and that is fine,my sis just wants to make sure it is available should she ever change her mind. So all correspondance is kept by the bio mom's sister. My nephew will be told he is adopted..I am sickened that anyone would think my sister "bought" him-yes she paid agency and court fees,which one does have to do. There was NO way the bio mom was going to parent,she had no desire to do so. So should my sister not have adopted him? is that what you believe? Should he have been better off left in an orphanage?
    Or aborted?
    See, I dont think any other choice would be right for him-he deserves a family and people who love him. I am proud of my sister and her husband for their choice and I support them 100%. Their son is a delight,he loves his mom so much and you rarely see him without a huge smile on his face.
    Also,since you and others who post on here,feel that adoption is taking a child from it's mother..what do you think should be done instead if a woman/girl chooses to not parent? We have a family friend who is 27 and she gave a child up abt 5 years ago,she did not want the child,was not sure how she felt abt aborting it,so she chose not too,but she knew without a doubt she was not going to parent the baby. She chose closed adoption,rarely ever mentions the child and on the chance that she does,has said she believes without a doubt she made the right decision. She has no regrets. She says she is not meant to parent and has no desire for it..that is fine....
    But do you all think she should have been forced to parent just so no one else could "buy" her baby? Your term,not mine...

    Just signed,
    A proud Aunt of an adopted boy

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  27. Laurie, you might want to read a few more blog posts before just jumping in. It always helps to be a bit more educated before going off half-cocked.

    Cheers,
    Myst :)

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  28. EK,

    Thank you... the love was much appreciated :) And you DO write eloquently because it is from the heart.

    Myst xxx

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  29. Hmm...see I think that Laurie raises some valid questions/thoughts.

    What should happen to those of us whose biological mothers were/are not in a position to raise us? Seriously, what???

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  30. Yes, Laurie, you went off half cocked, not because you asked a 'valid' question but because you did so uneducated about me and my views. You have arrived here from another blog WITH the intention of picking me apart so I really have no intention of engaging with you.

    Same goes for anyone else with the same intention.

    And if it doesn't really matter to you, you wouldn't be here getting all riled up now would you?



    Ciao!

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  31. Laurie, Campbell, the whole point of this blog is that Myst wanted to parent her daughter but she was stolen from her. Your questions are irrelevant to this blog, to this mother, so take them somewhere else. I can tell you this though, there are far more mothers out there who want to parent, who want to mother their children than end up doing so. Just because a mother happens to sign some forms does not necessarily mean that she doesn't want to parent. These are the mothers who are told by adopters, by adoption agencies, by the church, by their families, by society at large that they are not good enough to mother their own child, that the child will be better off adopted out. These mothers get put down so much they begin to believe the lies and end up signing up to a lifetime of pain for themselves and their children. You would say that these women did not want to parent because they signed adoption papers but try putting yourself in their situation and consider how you would feel.

    These days it is hard to know if the children in orphanages are even orphans anymore. There are so many organisations going to developing countries and telling parents to take their children to orphanages to be adopted for a better life in places like America - this is plain and simple theft of children to meet a demand that exists because of selfish adopters. So at least some of the children you are talking about would not be in orphanages if it wasn't for that demand created by the west.

    Oh and Amanda Pooh, I did not need two sets of parents and it has done nothing but make my life difficult.

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  32. Beautifully put Erimentha! Thank you :)

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  33. Of course my questions as a mom and adoptee are irrelevant here Erimentha. Beautifully put, thank you.

    If the point of this blog is that Myst wanted to parent her daughter that was stolen then how do explain commentary like the following, which is just one of many: "Adoption is hateful, poisonous, sick, evil and cruel. I have NEVER and I mean NEVER seen a positive come out of it. Not ONE single positive thing. All I have seen is toxicity, nastiness, anguish, pain, injustice, discrimination, abuse and the list goes on so wearingly long. And I am not even speaking of my own situation by the many, many cases I have read about via blogs, heard about directly from those involved or received via email."

    My situation does not fit into this description and it shocks me to be treated in such a non motherly way by those who appear to be terribly affected by being stripped of their right to mother, and/or by those that have blind empathy for them.

    In my opinion it's time to reassess the agenda of unwilling first mothers and their unmotherly approach to getting the word out on the dark side of adoption to people like myself.

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  34. Um, Campbell, I say those things about adoption because over the course of the last 11 years through which I have spent researching adoption I have found nothing else BUT pain. Yes, sure, there may be a few happy stories here and there BUT and there is huge BUT, you could have been just as happy with your adopters if they were not adoptive parents. If they had been permanent carers and you had still called them mum and dad and still had all the life you had PLUS the benefit of knowing from young who you really came from...you would have benefitted even more.

    The point of my blog is actually to get out there not just my story but the poison of the industry. So what if a few ended up happily? When the slave trade ended, there were a few good masters who cared about their slaves and treated them as humans but that didn't prevent the fact there were many that didn't.

    In my 11 years, I have seen many people affected by adoption start off singing its praises only to come across them a few years down the track doing the exact opposite: this includes adoptive parents, adoptees and real parents.

    As I have said elsewhere, my research has been extensive. The pain I feel as a mother who has lost a child to adoption is not just mine. It belongs to the Romanian mothers whose children were stolen from them; the Chinese, Taiwanese, Korean and countless other international mothers whose children were taken from them or coerced out of their arms all in the brutal name of adoption.

    Please read Part 2 of my Case against adoption. It touches on just a few of the horrors adoption has been the root cause of. ANYTHING in this world which actually CAUSES this amout of pain does not deserve to continue. Without adoption we do have other alternatives, people just need to open their minds and be prepared to leap outside of their comfy box for once. I am not your typical conformist. I like to explore new ideas. The general public ARE conformists who cling to popular opinion. Popular opinion DICTATES adoption is the only way... I choose to see beyond that dictatorship thanks.

    Anyway, its not up to me to make you change your mind. If you choose to be blind and remain ignorant, you are MAKING that choice. I wrote a post about that too... and I see many ignorant by choice people because it is easier to stick ones head in the sand and sing la la la than learn.

    I find part of the issue is that people are lazy, they don't won;t to help others... just wait for them to trip up. That is what adoption relies on. Lazy, selfish, hypocritcal ignoramuses (by choice) who don't want to stretch out their hand to HELP their fellow human being. Very sad and yes, Adoption is indeed SICK.

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  35. To pick up on a point you raised at another blog. You accuse mothers like myself of only looking out for myself. How can you qualify such a judgement and accusation when I have repeatedly stated I want the institution of adoption which was MADE TO SATISFY THE NEEDS OF ADULTS abolished and REPLACED with a CHILD focussed system? You say you have taken the time to actually read my blog but I donot believe you because had you done so and actually have good comprehension skills, you would see that I AM putting children first. You are just so hell-bent on making me look wrong, you cannot see beyond your own agenda.

    I am sorry you have so many issues to deal with but I am not repsonsible for those. I suggest a cognitive therapist. They will be able to help you sort through your issues of anger against your real mother and any other mother who stands up against the corruption of adoption. All the best.

    Myst

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  36. To the poster who asked what might happen to the children who aren't adopted..that they might be (gasp!!!) aborted...ummm, I actually used to wish I HAD been aborted. My childhood sucked ass and thinking about not existing at all was the only thing that gave me peace.

    I hope that you read more of Myst's blog..and more adoptees' blogs too so you can see that such questions are offensive and unnecessarily cruel.

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