I cannot tell you how many times I have heard this expression.
"I hope you make peace with your decision"
"I hope you find peace and can move on with your life"
"I hope you can let go of the hurt" etc etc and etc...
You get the picture.
What I have realised lately, is that these people often don't really care if I find peace or not. They don't want me to find peace for my sake. Oh no. They want me to find peace for THEIR sake because my voice makes THEM uncomfortable. And it is not just me but any other person who dares to speak out against the popular view of adoption.
There is an old saying I like which goes something along the lines of "People judge that which they don't understand". And judgement, dismissal etc is something of an epidemic in adoption.
You know something? I have made peace. Peace with the fact I know this pain can never be healed. Like the quote on the side of my blog from Frodo in the Return of the King, there are some hurts in life that can never be healed. Some wounds that go so deep they alter the whole of your life.
And so it is with that realisation I have made peace. This doesn't mean I do not have a life. But this blog is about one area of my life only and I do not need to defend the rest of my life to strangers who will never be part of my life.
Dismissing what I have to say only reflects on the person doing the dismissing. It has nothing to do with me except for the fact I challenge their safe little bubble (as do all who speak out against evil and wrongdoing where people chose blindness as it is more comfortable).
Dismissal is something I seem to be the brunt of more and more of late... especially here on my blog. From the ramblings of one pissed off lady because I don't like adoption and want it replaced by a more humane and just system (diddums) to raging emails about how my story is not true... these from people who are from a totally different country and have no clue as to who I am and what they are talking about. People so desperate to trample my voice they feel the need to dictate to me my experience and yet support my argument with their anger.
Peace... do people even know the meanings of the words they use these days? I wonder as they often say things with the opposite message attached...