29 March 2012

Abortion Survivors?

"Our world is full of abortion survivors, whether the procedure was attempted on them or not; thanks to OCTOBER BABY, we can begin to understand and minister to this massive wound among our youth. OCTOBER BABY is a major blessing to our movement!"
Father Frank Pavone, National Director, Priests for Life

A fellow blogger (thanks M!) recently drew my attention to this quote and I have had it on my mind so much the past few days I am blogging about it.

My issue is not (yet) about the movie which I have not seen and therefore cannot judge, although I am concerned about the content given the reviews I have read.

My issue is about how this movie is being used and of course with the statements by persons like this Father Frank Pavone.  The emphasis used in the first part of the quote, I added because this is what upsets me the most.

My question is how can this world be full of abortion survivors if termination WAS NEVER thought of, let alone attempted? Answer is simple, if there was no thought of abortion, then that child was never at risk and therefore not an abortion survivor.

Given the movie is about an adopted adult who is seeking for her identity and the truth of her origins, I can only guess the “abortion survivors” Father Frank is referring to is adopted persons.  Had he left the quote at “our world is full of abortion survivors” I don’t think I could argue that because I do not know what the statistics are however given the context of the movie and the rest of that quote, it leads me to think he is referring to adopted persons because it is assumed out there in general society that we natural mothers “chose life” and gave our babies away for adoption so we didn’t have to terminate them.

This is a HUGE misconception.  MASSIVE.  For myself, abortion was not even remote thought.  I rejected it as quickly as I rejected adoption (actually, as abortion was the first option offered to me, I rejected it swiftly followed by adoption).

There was never a question in my mind about what I felt was best for this child I was carrying.  Amongst the fear I felt about being pregnant and knowing the judgements that would come, I was also excited about being a mother.  I had dreamed about this since I was 4 years old although getting raped and falling pregnant unmarried had never quite featured in that dream, funnily enough.  So there was no way I was entertaining any thoughts about termination or abandonment for this baby.

I asked some other natural mother friends of mine on facebook if they had considered abortion… and the resounding answer was no.  And I would bet there are many, many adopted persons with mothers who also felt the same way.  The mothers I asked wanted to keep their children – adoption never featured on their radar either.  

Promoting adoption as a savior for children who might have been or might not have been terminated pregnancies is, very, very dangerous.  Adoption has nothing to do with a woman’s choice to end a pregnancy.  It really doesn’t.  Abortion refers to ending a pregnancy and the decision not to proceed with being pregnant.  Adoption is the decision not to proceed with parenting the child for whatever reason.   Yet time and time again, the pro lifers/anti-choice persons pit these two together and use guilt to force someone to do something they might not otherwise have done.

These same parties also like to bandy around another term (in league with adoption agencies) and that is “coerced parenting”.  COERCED PARENTING!!!  First time I read  this, I was in disbelief.  Because now they are turning something natural into something to be wary of.  They are making our natural instincts, that is, to birth and parent our own children, into something ghastly.  And that is mind-boggling and disturbing.

Many pro-lifers are also adoption agencies in disguise.  Their aim is to prevent abortions in the hope of getting those mothers to place.  It is a well greased scam.  The thing is, these pro lifers, despite their propaganda, do not care about mother or baby.  They only care about the bottom dollar.  Given adoption is a mutli billion dollar industry, it is only wise to see the connection between these two issues in the terms of money.    Thanks to Facebook, I have seen pages and groups rise and fall that have been operating under cover as “support groups” for young pregnant mothers and they talk about “choosing life”.  They then suggest adoption… it is all part of the same wheel that turns to create more profit, more customers.  Those that are caught in the tangled webs they weave are the losers – the mothers, the babies and in some cases the more naive PAP’s.

Earlier in the post I raised the point our children were wanted and we planned to keep our babies.  How do mothers end up going from adamantly wanting their baby to placing them?  Although I have previously linked this post, Coercion not choice, it is the answer to this question and anyone considering adoption (ie adopting) should read it so you do not become part of this cruel and barbaric practise which is tearing families apart.   

In relation to the abortion survivor issue, please do not assume our children were ever saved from abortion because they were not.  Our children are not abortion survivors.  They are our much loved, much wanted children and they were taken by a system who didn’t care for us and who failed us and our children as a whole.   Adoption is not the alternative to abortion.  It is a painful road with no end in sight.  Adoption is a permanent state whereas the issue of becoming pregnant early is not permanent, not really.  It is daunting, sure.  But adoption is forever and that means the pain it causes. 
Although not a personal fan of abortion, I would never ever judge a woman for choosing that route and I have even suggested it to women as a choice which is something I would never have done prior to losing my daughter. You know what changed that for me?  Adoption.  So to all you pro lifers out there who are promoting the lifelong pain of adoption: you are also creating more fans of abortion because there is nothing in this life that could ever make up for the pain of losing a child to adoption.  Nothing. 


  1. I can't and never will support this movie or the way this woman is being used to further encourage the many crimes of adoption.

    From what I understand, this woman was told by her adoptive parents that she was aborted and miraculously survived and was then put up for adoption.

    I refuse to accept that as absolute truth when my own son was told I tried to have an abortion with him and when it didn't "take" I was forced to continue my pregnancy when in truth, adoption was an option that I knew I couldn't do. Not for me or my situation.

    I am, though, very pro-choice and I will remain so as long as there is such a failure in adequate help and support offered to women so they are empowered to keep and raise their children.

    Pro-Lifers are, to me, nothing but false believers in the true importance of life created. While they fight so hard to keep women from terminating pregnancies, they also continually speak out against having to spend any part of their "hard-earned money" to help a mother and child in need.

    And you know, the most ironic thing about this is that because my mom became pregnant with me in one of the worst times for young, pregnant women to be pregnant, she would have gotten an abortion if they have been legal. I know that and I have no problem with it.

    And yet not one single person has ever said to me that I should be thankful I wasn't aborted. Why would they since I wasn't adopted?

    None of them seem to realize, to me, being a child born at risk of being taken from my mother and put up for adoption, the only thing I am grateful for is that I wasn't taken from my family and sold to strangers.

    1. I am with you Cassi. I have no plans to see this movie and I am also doubtful about the story line they used.

      And I totally concur re the pro-lifers and their "belief" system. I don't see them any better than those who coerce women to place and lie... because they are happy to preach their rhetoric with no evidence whatsoever of the fact they care.

      I am so very sorry about what your son was told. It was a cruel and unnecessary thing for your son's adoptress to say and there was no reason to say it except her own inability to get past her insecurities. She was and is a cruel person with many issues to deal with.

      And I am very happy your mother was unable to abort you because you are a treasure to our world, I couldn't imagine you not being here. Hope you don't mind me linking again - your recent post is powerful because it is showing up the tactics as they are and putting them into perspective, something that is vastly lacking in the world of adoption.

  2. Oh, well darn. I should delete because of my BIG mistake but I'm hoping instead this will take care of it . . .

    I said - adoption was an option that I knew I couldn't do -

    When I meant - abortion was an option that I knew I couldn't do.

    Sorry. It's been a long busy day.

    1. I know what you mean (((hugs))) hope you get some sleep... have no idea what time it is in your spot of the world... its 2:30pm here :)

    2. This kind of film is extremist propaganda, pure and simple. I am another mom who never considered abortion, and would never have had an abortion. I feel abortion is sometimes the lesser evil for some women in some circumstances, and should never be done later in pregnancy or used as birth control, but I do not feel it up to me to make that grave moral choice for any other woman.

      No, my son whom I surrendered is not an abortion survivor, and I too wanted to keep him but post-partum depression, bad counseling, and lack of support intervened. I never considered abortion for a minute, even though my boyfriend was in pre-med and had those kinds of connections back in 68.

      Abortion and adoption are very separate issues. Neither should be forced on any woman nor promoted as the best choice for all in crisis pregnancies. The choice is not between abortion and surrender, but for most women, between abortion and raising the child. Adoption is not a reproductive rights choice either, as some pro-abortion supporters would make it. Once the child is born the reproduction is done, and any choice must consider the effects on both mother and child as separate individuals.

      On the other hand, the idea promoted by right to life that so many adoptees are "abortion survivors" is just a lie and distortion.

  3. Thank you for your comment Maryanne. I am sorry you also ended up with losing your child.

    I agree with you, abortion and adoption are very separate issues - and also that adoption is not a reproductive choice.

    The right to life groups and the adoption agencies are good at lying and distortion... its how they work, sadly.


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