(Originally published: January 2010)
With all the various "blog wars" flying about the place, I have been thinking about the "anti-adoption" stance and the way people feel towards it.
I didn't always see myself as being anti-adoption; in fact someone labelled me with that and I just thought "well maybe that's what I am" and let it stick but currently, I have seen through the eyes of others, that this statement is more than what it means to me.
So in this post, I want to explain what I see it meaning and then ask you what you feel it means.
I am against a legal system that seeks to make a lie out of a child's life. I do not agree with the legal process and is one of the main aspects of adoption I am against. It is not even a requirement to tell a child they are adopted and I know of mothers whose children are not even aware of their adoption. This is crazy-making. I hate that in many places in the USA, adopted persons do not have the right to THEIR OWN records. I am against withholding Original Birth Certificates from those they belong to: the Adoptee and no one else. Not even the mother who gave birth to them has the moral right to keep this information from their child and if they loved their child, they wouldn't.
The other main aspect is the routine separation of mothers and babies to fulfil a demand. Infant adoption has become a business. Mothers who are perfectly capable of raising their own children are told they are selfish, are lied to, are worn down to feel they are unworthy of keeping their own babies, the most natural thing to do, so that others can adopt their babies. I disagree with this and find it unethical and immoral in the extreme.
I disagree with the kidnapping of children internationally being sold for adoption and human traffiking purposes. I am against keeping the poor helpless and unable to provide so they have no choice but to relinquish in order to feed their own children.
I am against the fact adoption is a multi billion dollar FOR profit industry in the USA. This issue makes me feel sick because I do not see how this is any different to slavery when a price is paid to adopt an infant under the guise of "fees" when in reality it is contributing to the profits this industry is generating.
I am vehemently opposed to those who aggressively seek out young mothers with the sole intention of getting them to place their child. Adoption should be a last resort not the first choice. Education should be employed to ensure more young women know how to protect themselves from becoming mothers before they are ready. There is just not enough education out there due to sex being such a taboo subject in the West.
I am against infant adoption because in most cases it is not ethical and is immoral due to current practises employed and the lure of the open adoption lie which has no guarantee and has so far caused much damage.
Now I have covered the main aspects of adoption I am against, let me share what I am actually okay with.
All children deserve a permanent and stable home; a family who loves them. I agree with this aspect of adoption although sadly, it is not always guaranteed. Children should not have to pass from home to home; should not have to worry about who they are going to live with next, whether they are going to be placed back with abusive parents. Children, our innocent and precious children, deserve to be loved, nurtured and above all, protected and I know there are people out there who want to give a child this which is GOOD.
Children who have no homes and no chance of being reunited with their familes, I want them to have a home. I want them to have what children are SUPPOSED to have, their basic human rights.
This is where adoption, particularly of older children, I struggle to be against as their right to this is more important than paperwork. And for the most part, where and whilst there is no other choice, I agree currently adoption is their best option.
Now for you my readers, I invite you to share what ANTI ADOPTION means to you. What do you feel or think when you see this term? What does this term really mean?
Please be aware this is not an invitation for attacks, jibes, etc but a civil and meaningful discussion so we can dispel some of the myths going around about what anti adoption is and what it isn't.
Maybe we will find within the adoption community more common ground with each other than we realise we have.
Thank you for your honesty and time!